Awkward commuting

Awkward commuting is unavoidable. For many of us it is synonymous with pain and suffering and no, I’m not exaggerating (okay maybe a little). So I recently started a new job, the commute of which is bloody awful. It takes me right into central London, it involves tubes and people. I figure maybe a public service announcement for those who don’t quite get TFL (Transport for London) conduct is due.

A day of awkward commuting

  • London Bus drivers are secret maniacs and I’m starting to think they want to see how many people they can trip up and have a scoreboard to do just that.
  • The armrest in trains. It’s for one arm people, not for two to squeeze on and it works on a first come first serve basis. Unless your train neighbour is digging into your ribcage with their pointy elbow, I don’t want to hear about it.
  • While I do like the ‘lining up for the soon-to-come-train-door’ huddle, I never know where the train doors stop; how do people even remember that? Of course, I feel betrayed if I trusted a stranger enough to line up next to them only to be miles away from the closest door and awkwardly scuttle away.
  • I’m short. On tubes, I live in people’s armpits. No, it’s not nice.
  • For the love of God, if there is a cue, line up at the back. If you push in front of me, I will hurl you back.
  • The train is full, stop trying to throw your body in and pushing 20 people closer together than is already humanly acceptable.
  • Don’t make eye contact with people on the tube while you are squeezed up, as your eye contact receiver. We both look super awkward and dumb right now and we don’t want to be seen.
  • Give elders your seat. Surely this doesn’t take an explanation? Once you hit 70, you’ll need that seat and karma will bite your ass.
  • Great, you are rich. You have a 1st class ticket, well done. Stop trying to check other people’s tickets when they are also trying to sit in the upper class seating like you work for the national rail and shut the hell up.
  • Get a car. Pay London congestion charges.

4 thoughts on “Awkward commuting

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  1. That sounds like a fun commute.
    Traffic in my city is horrible, so I tried taking public transit to work (and back). It wasn’t that bad. Although I have to take a bus, then train, then another train, and then another bus, trip is not that bad. It also involves some walking, but as long as weather is not horrible (I have some serious issues with being on time, so that evolves into a lot of running. If it’s cold (-20 C) I need to dress warmer and change at work. I also have to cary my breakfast and lunch with me. Still, not too bad. But I can relate about having no space on the train. At times, I can barely squeeze in with enough room for doors to close. The worst part is that there is not enough room to get my phone from my pocket to change a song.
    On a separate topic. You do a great job with illustrations on your blogs.

    1. Haha yep – your commute sucks too. My university commute used to be (and get ready) one bus, one train, another train and one tube. Weird how you adapt regardless.

      Yep, I like reading on public transport but more often than not I am squeezed up to a point where taking my book out would stop an extra person fitting onto the carriage.

      Glad you related so much! Cheers, too kind calling it ”illustrations” – I call them messy doodles.

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