With the increasing amount of debate whether University is actually worth your time in terms of learning, money and of course effort, it’s an even bigger question mark when it comes to courses of the humanities. Before you think I am dissing the arts, I’m not. Both my undergraduate and postgraduate degree fall under the domain. I don’t think my time was wasted, even if ultimately, I opted for an entirely different field to work in.
A few years ago I had a conversation/argument with a lecturer of mine about the talented versus the hard worker. I have no slights in telling you I am made up of the latter far more than those driven with innate ability. Like most, the effort I put in is proportional to what I get out of it while for some, “effort” is a flimsy unrecognisable term who simply do without trying.
.A quote revolving around the wisdom of illusion. You see what you want to see. Thus build up a deceptive image around it. Once you achieve, you find that it’s not how you imagined it to be (e.g. Pokemon Go).
How often have you muted those stupid questions at the tip of your tongue? Where you sat in your classroom and your teacher had given you your assignments. Remember your friends scrambled for their pen and paper to get started. You, in turn, were puzzled, looking around the room trying to get a hint as to what it is you were supposed to be doing. So the question arises; do you really want to be that one student who timidly pops their hand in the air to say ‘What are we supposed to be doing?’
Positivity is a term people love to use in abstract. The good old jab to your stomach and a ‘just be positive man’ jibe to consult your left-over ache. ‘Just be positive’ has become so commonplace. You forget that the accomplishment of this involves the altering of how you process thoughts, events, and interactions to an incredibly significant degree. Unlearning and relearning a habit you have had for as long as you’ve been alive. This while not necessarily turning your life upside down but making sure that the obstacles you would have met with your eyes and ears closed. You now meet with a confident smile and a cheeky wink – that’s happiness.
What makes cynicism?
Age, for one. A better word for it would, of course, experience. Interactions, burned bridges, and the disparity between what is being said and the hypocritical actions that follow.
I enjoy the thought of waking up, having my morning tea on the weekend, opening a fresh word document and wondering and ultimately write. Just stare at the blankness of a new page and wonder if there is something I have to say, that I haven’t said before and say it eloquently.
The question of Who you are sets you on a journey of finding yourself.
You’re you when you devour an entire pizza by yourself at home. You’re also you when you’re working your ass off at work trying to whip up the best presentation ever made.
It’s all you.
Who you are – it’s all of you
Do you think anyone knows who they really are? I don’t. I mean I may have a slight idea. Every day, however, I find a tiny fraction of undiscovered self. One that is not really big enough for me to stop, register and define myself using it going ‘oh so that’s me’.
Don’t force yourself to extremes thinking there is a set list of things to do to achieve a moment of sublime self-revelation. I doubt that exists. It’s a slow progress. It’s the slow lessons that sink in.
So when your asshole boss gives you a tight deadline you may find that you are a humongous stress ball barely capable of handling the pressure – but you met the deadline. Capable but emotionally turbulent. That was you with that one deadline. For your next tight project, you may be something else entirely. Who you are is who you are at that point in time. The lazy you and the ambitious you.
The reason why you can’t figure yourself out entirely is because you are continuously evolving and shaping yourself every single second.
Unless you have an innate desire to do certain things, don’t do it with the objective to find something else will be revealed by doing so.
Just live. Live while finding out bits and pieces while doing so.